


Unironic Squiddles

by SuperImposed



Series: Kinkfills: Happy Smut Edition [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Assume aged up, Biting, Consentacles, Dave making fish puns, Dead Dave, Dead Feferi, F/M, Fluffy Smut, Kinkfill, Oral Sex, Tentacle Sex, Tentacles, dreambubble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-05
Updated: 2014-03-05
Packaged: 2018-01-14 14:56:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1270645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperImposed/pseuds/SuperImposed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"this pairing is hard to find at all especially nowadays, please someone fill this ;_;</p><p>i just want them to have cute and hot tentacle sex that is completely consensual</p><p>maybe a doomed timeline dave meets feferi in a dream bubble and they hit it off in the sexiest way possible</p><p>dont let me down kinkmeme"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unironic Squiddles

**Author's Note:**

> Kinkmeme Prompt I did ages back and only now _actually posted_. http://homesmut.dreamwidth.org/39716.html?thread=44739876#cmt44739876

What is it about her?

 

Something draws you in to this strange girl; her blank eyes, cheese-doodle horns, piranha teeth, wave-swept nest of hair, don’t bother you in the least.

When you first met her, you would have said it was because she was basically Alien Jade. She isn’t, though - she doesn’t have Jade’s adoraterrifying temper, doesn’t put up with your BS mixes. She’s a lot like Jade, yeah, but you think you’d rather have your fish princess than gun-toting Rapunzel.

You make fish puns and pose terrible battles of the Dick-Nosed-Squish-Monster-Ravages-The-Helpless-Squid-Freak-Village. Since you’re playing with a troll, the villagers usually give as good as they get, and often win, leaving a giggling fish princess perched on your chest, waving a cuttlefish toy in your face.

You paint her nails as ironically as possible, and replace your shattered shades with bright pink swim goggles. She knots tiny ribbons into your hair and snoozes on your lap.

When her angry-sad douchefish ex barges in, you spirit her away to your trashed apartment and watch terrible bootleg movies and conveniently ignore the fact that she doesn’t go ‘home’ after.

She flits into your and Bro’s closet (a refrigerator box decorated in smuppet porn) and badgers you into playing dress-up. Of course, you have to make tea. She’s thrilled to actually drink the stuff and not just BLUH around like in her aquatic bubble.

You’ve played the occasional dress-up game or had imaginary/Orange-Crush-fueled tea parties, but this is the first you ever got propositioned at.

“Say again?”

She giggles and takes another sip. “It’ll be fun! I don’t know how humans do it-” and there’s that sound, that almost-hiccup on her Hs, “-but the elder gods ashore me that it will shark for you.”

God damn, she’s adorabubble. Adorable. “I’m gonna need more than that, princess. Is this going to involve, I don’t know, tentacles up my ass or something?”

You were joking, but she tilts her head to the side, as you’ve seen her do, as if listening. Then her mouth splits into an enormous smile. “Sea-ms so! I guess that’s what humans cull their nooks?”

You put down the teacup, mouth suddenly dry. Okay, you were joking, but… she’s got _that look_ on her face, the one that says ‘I’m making trouble and I’ll be **_super_** disappointed if you don’t go along with me’. Up til now, you’d liked that look - it meant something interesting was going to happen.

Hold up. You still like it, and it _does_ mean something interesting is going to happen. Since when were you down with tentacle enemas?

Bro’s exposed you to worse over the years, and she’s still grinning, and the really stupid part of your brain is pointing out that she’s kind of incredibly hot and you totally want to do it/her. So… “Shore, let’s get it on.”

 

\-------------------------------------

 

You quickly learn a number of things:

Feferi - or maybe trolls in general - likes to be bitten. A lot. Your puny human not-fangs are weak enough that you don’t have to worry about actually hurting her, but can apply enough pressure to satisfy as well, so it works out.

Trolls don’t moan. You’re willing to bet that only seadwellers make the dying-whale noises that she does, the ones that nearly gave you a heart attack mid-tentacoitus. You’re still not certain if she was fucking with you.

Tentacles up the ass feel fucking _amazing_. That is all.

No, seriously - hers are coated with some kind of pinky slime that works like lube. It also makes your skin tingle pleasantly on contact.

Oh, and they’re huge. Like, average-dick-size apiece, looking like something made by Bad Dragon. You have no idea how she got three in you so easy, but you like it. The rest curl around your skinny legs, to be squeezed between your thighs and under your knees. A pair you affectionately think of as Thelma and Selma double-team your own meat cannon - apparently they aren’t very dextrous - and make you a happy Dave indeed.

Feferi is really good at this communicating thing: “Is this okay? Did that hurt? Should I stop?” Also fantastic at interpreting your incomprehensible whimpers and moans.

Each tentacle comes separately, and Feferi is scandalized/thrilled that you are okay with what she calls ‘pailing’. You don’t care what it’s named as long as she doesn’t stop.

Feferi makes what she later claims is a “cuttlefish noise” when she comes, and what you would call ‘a dying foghorn having sex with a roadkill cat’ noise. She makes the most adorabubble face when she does it.

 

After what feels like both long hours and short seconds, you lay together, exhausted, in pool of pink jizz-slime. Feferi shrieks with laughter when you roll over and kick your legs in it, splashing her. In retaliation, she dumps you both in her bubble. Caught off-guard by the change in scenery, you flail. She wraps strong arms around your torso, carefully nibbling your ear.

You feel the tip of a tentacle poking you in places previously unplunged, like a proper gentleman asking permission. “Again?” You groan, half from surprise, half from the cold and rough tongue that is currently treating your ear like a piece of candy.

“Alwaves!” She chirps, scooping you up in a cradling hold. “Dave…”

Puppy-dogfish eyes. Uh-oh. “Yeeeeees….?”

“You said you couldn’t bite through my skin, right?”

You’re not sure where this is going, and it worries you. “Yeah?”

She shoots you her most innocent smile, ruined by the sudden presence of shark teeth. “And you said that humans haddock otter waves of pailing, right?”

“... I’m terrified of wherever you’re rowing with this, Fefers.”

She giggles. “Trolls don’t reely do this, since we have such shark teeth, but yours are dull and weak… so, clam I put a tentacle in your mouth?”

“.... Sure, why the fuck not.”

And that’s how you ended up with alien fish troll lady-dick in your face.

It’s not as bad as you expected. For one, you don’t need to breath anymore. For another, Feferi is extremely polite as she shoves a wriggly appendage down your gullet. Actually, that’s probably because she’s still subconsciously worried of being bitten, and you’re not going to pursue that line of thought further because it’s making Little Dave hurt in sympathy.

Fortunately Thelma and a new tentacle that you’re naming Patty (you’re tempted to name another Krabby) are happy to soothe away any ghost pain in a ghost’s dick. It’s a little scary that you can already identify each tentacle by freckles and, for some, name.

Others roll over your bent thighs, your scrawny ass, leaving a slimy trail in their wake. Feferi’s bent almost double over you, hands gripping your shoulders and almost pushing you down - she’s clearly near collapse, just from a few minutes. You dutifully roll the tentacle in your mouth, trying to get a feel for what she liked best.

Some movements got giggles, others got whale-noises. But sucking as hard as possible on her tentadick apparently wins the prize - she comes sharply and loudly, almost deafening you with her ‘cuttlefish noise’. Her technicolor jizz tastes like her tentacle - almost fruity, and in this case crazy-sweet. You almost gag on the pure sugariness of it as she pulls away, letting more pink cascade off your lips. She takes one look at you and giggles.

“Wellll,” you drawl, “that sure was a thing.”


End file.
